17 beats

the plastic surgeon

2012-02-06T11:35:00.002-05:00

and there was this time
when i leaked breast milk onto
a handsome doctor.

my sweaty hands, inept
with technology, texted
the only woman

who would understand.
"he probs liked it" she wrote back.
i think she was right.

no, i'm sorry.

2012-02-02T11:07:00.003-05:00

and we fought about
fighting again. we used shit
logic and words like

"ALWAYS" and "NEVER"
and painted ourselves into
opposite corners

and crossed our arms
in a huff. we knew it was
farcical, and yet

we carried on for
well over an hour because
that's just how we do.

he's a real asshole, that cat.

2012-01-24T21:16:00.006-05:00

so the black cat's on
hunger strike again; says he
doesn't like this new kind

of kibbles -- maybe
because they are triangles ?
the old ones were square.

he recognizes
shapes now, eh ? joke's on him 'cause
i don't give a shit.

mystery solved.

2012-01-19T10:59:00.002-05:00

just bit my nail and
tasted a strange taste. kinda
medicinal, but

not at all minty.
foreign, pleasant. lanolin ? no.
a-ha ! it's perfume.

2012-01-17T18:01:00.003-05:00

it's that moment when
your gums stop quivering at
my breast, and you thrust

yourself into a
perfect back bend, while kneading
my thigh with your toes.

baptism

2012-01-04T21:24:00.003-05:00

tonight i'll tilt my
head back and let the liquor
wash away my sins.

cat's eye

2011-12-30T12:16:00.004-05:00

rocking back and forth
in the shower this morning,
i press my fingers

into my eyelids,
('eyelid wars' we say, because
of the nebula

bursts of color and
the feeling of endlessly
plummeting through space)

and concentrate hard
on the buzz of radio
and video games

that compete with the
rat-a-tat beat of water
on the shower door.

tasty tidbit

2011-12-27T17:51:00.001-05:00

instead of a neck,
our baby has a bunch of
extraneous chins

infant milestones

2011-12-19T10:18:00.002-05:00

much to celebrate :
baby girl has grown skillful
at flipping the bird.

soundtrack to my insanity

2011-12-13T16:40:00.002-05:00

the unreachable
smoke detector's piercing beeps
delight my senses.

you give me an inch, i want a mile.

2011-12-05T15:52:00.003-05:00

you know when you have
that one roll of tape that seems
to last forever

and then it runs out
and you're like, "what the fuck, bud ?
WE HAD SOMETHING REAL."

baby girl

2011-10-29T15:37:00.003-04:00

we relish these last
moments of folie a deux --
though we know it'll be

a madness of three
because our third wheel will make
us a tricycle.

quiet

2011-10-29T15:31:00.002-04:00

it's snowy outside.
the cat sleeps in the corner
and i mend a quilt.

when a BANANA asks you on a DATE

2011-10-11T16:23:00.004-04:00

"i'm saying 'yes' to
fruit these days." why i find this
funny, i don't know.

DAMMIT.

2011-10-10T11:18:00.000-04:00

unfortunately
i cannot un-know how good
these sticky buns are.

the dog and the water

2011-09-29T10:59:00.004-04:00

the tide is high and
green today. the river sighs
and heaves her bosom,

pushing forth a kind
offering of seaweed, sticks,
and plastic bottles.

my dog runs to greet
her old friend, and graciously
accepts these fine gifts.

she dances in the
water, and on the rocks, and
kisses the river

in thanks. yet for all
her gratitude, she is but
a capricious dog

and leaves the river,
still reaching for her, without
even a 'good-bye'.

soda

2011-09-28T15:52:00.002-04:00

he knew i wanted
root beer, though i said "surprise
me" and hoped for grape

catholic tricks

2011-09-14T11:15:00.001-04:00

crumpling three candy
wrappers into one ball helps
you feel less guilty.

Moses

2011-09-13T12:03:00.003-04:00

he enters the train.
he is regal, his head high.
from his neck and chin

springs forth a mighty
beard of matted coils, dense and
black. he has no shoes.

broken bags cover
his broken feet, but he walks
with Grace and Purpose.

he parts the crowd, a
sea of judgement and contempt, and
stands beside the door.

concern on High Street

2011-09-12T15:07:00.006-04:00

we're stereotypes,
you & I. YOU : the Brooklyn-born
I-talian with

gold chains roped beneath
an open collar; and ME :
the fleshy, swollen

pregnant gal gasping
for air on a landing. you
watch me ascend the

flight of stairs, worried.
"christ's motha ! you gonna make it ?"
laughing, I nod. "yeah."

good morning, poodle.

2011-09-03T08:04:00.004-04:00

her beard flattened, she
squints at me from across a
sun soaked room & yawns.

quit it, guys

2011-08-10T09:42:00.001-04:00

my pets are sitting
in a circle staring at
each other. freaky.

delirious

2011-08-07T07:25:00.000-04:00

little baby don't
worry, i was just trying
to get some shut-eye

blood clot on Front St

2011-08-04T10:52:00.001-04:00

MOVE you big fat fuck
i'm lugging a 20-lb
bag of cat litter

when you are sad, i am sad

2011-07-31T11:31:00.001-04:00

fingers of tears creep
down her face, they are greyish
from her mascara.

conservation of energy

2011-07-22T15:25:00.001-04:00

sometimes my cat is
so damn lazy she only
half-blinks her eyes, yo.

in which my mother teaches me how to mend a quilt

2011-07-20T09:11:00.008-04:00

"there's a better way,"
she says, squatting next to her
work. "but it's too hard."

she runs her fingers
along the stitches, reading
them blindly like braille.

"see how this line is
closer and tidier ? more
even ?" i nod, "yeah."

"those others are more
of a hem-stitch." she goes on,
pushing herself up.

"you try the next line."
she laughs while i knot the thread.
the actual sewing

takes me over an
hour, and looks nothing like
her neat marching ants.

"i like how you took
care of this corner." she says
kindly, somehow proud.

i pout a little.
"it's lumpy, like scars." she shakes
her head, "it's sturdy."

a nightmare

2011-07-17T07:01:00.003-04:00

i am a deformed
and lumbering giant stranded
on an endless beach.

there is sand in all
directions, and it is wet,
but without water.

my tongue grows and twists
behind my teeth, gagging me.
i topple over.

a gentleman

2011-07-08T14:10:00.005-04:00

a retarded man
offered me his place on the
A train today. "Miss!"

he whoops as i board.
"Miss! Right here!" so excited,
he leaps from his seat.

"Or should I say Mom?!"
he takes my arm, and weaves us
through an upset crowd.

for several stops
we talk about baseball, football,
and coney island.

or rather, he talks,
as i know nothing of these.
soon the train slows and

he gathers his things,
a collection of plastic
bags, books and sundries.

"Boy or girl?" he asks,
his face alive with joy and
interest. "A girl."

"Oh, girls are the best!"
he calls over a frowning
woman as he leaves.

mother and daughter

2011-06-30T20:36:00.005-04:00

today my mother
and i go to the doctor,
hoping to hear the

baby's heartbeat, or
maybe catch a glimpse of the
curve of a nose, or

the crook of a knee.
i am, after all, doing
what she did once, and

times, boy have they changed.
"with you, they used a tape to
measure my belly.

that was it !" i nod.
she squeezes my hand, eager.
the doctor walks in.

she is distant and
distracted. talking idly
about traffic, she

motions that i lie back,
and then absently unfurls
her measuring tape.

last night's dream

2011-06-25T17:55:00.002-04:00

julia roberts
and i team up to reveal
that tom brokaw

is an alien;
sad, grizzly culmination
in biosphere 2.

between the folds

2011-06-22T14:40:00.002-04:00

some people fail to
recognize that movie monsters
look like vaginas.

these assholes need to
see either more movies or
more cunt. likely both.

lunch with a friend

2011-06-03T16:18:00.001-04:00

'don't forget to hold
his head,' she says. she is nervous.
maybe i am, too.

eaten

2011-06-01T09:14:00.002-04:00

it's a warm morning
on this first of june, the type
that make folks complain

because they forget
how hot july can be. the
new mosquito bite

on my ankle BEGS
my nails to rake across it,
but i plumb refuse.

instead i make little
X's on it, and treasure
the too brief relief.

GORGE-ous.

2011-04-06T18:33:00.001-04:00

2 chili cheese dogs
for dinner. there are some sins
that can't be un-did.

raw.

2011-04-01T16:04:00.005-04:00

and a special thanks
to the child who infected
me with this charming

bug. a sore throat : the
perfect accompaniment
to a rainy day.

dear Xeno,

2011-03-23T17:33:00.004-04:00

what if death is a
myth. what if during your last
hours, minutes, seconds

time gradually
slows, until each moment is
an eternity.

did the Tortoise not
teach that the end never comes ?
do we not seek the

infinite between
the infinitesimal ?
I am the star of

this pornography
known as consciousness, and it
is one with no end.

dear lady

2011-03-14T18:56:00.002-04:00

hairspray and leopard
print : the key to tricking Old
Age. or so she thinks.

namaste, fat girl.

2011-03-10T21:00:00.001-05:00

i gorge on cookies
after yoga to honor
the glutton within.

in this great melt

2011-02-09T14:02:00.003-05:00

we must remember
that the banana, newly
excavated by

yesterday's warm
hands, is most certainly still
delicious; for

we are not fools so
easily tricked by a peel
blackened from the cold.

bones

2011-02-05T08:17:00.001-05:00

he orders sandwich
with a side of sandwich, but
leaves all of the crusts.

differing opinions

2011-02-01T08:01:00.001-05:00

i say 'dive right in'
but he says, 'don't go whole hog
right outta the gate.'

i'll do what i please.

2011-01-26T18:23:00.004-05:00

i've been home from the
dentist not two hours and
have thus far enjoyed :

one cup of coffee
one handful of jelly beans
one glass of wine, and

some other no-nos.
my mouth aches and tastes of blood
but i say FUCK THEM !

this is what happens when you try too hard.

2011-01-24T08:56:00.001-05:00

put glasses over

glasses this morning and saw

that i could not see.

a dream ( for Mandelbrot )

2010-10-26T21:15:00.011-04:00

you climb onto me,
and suck me into a rich
kiss, deep and dirty.

when your hands clench my
thigh, white prints are left behind
on skin ruddy with

burst capillaries.
it forms a map -- "i can read
my future in your

leg," you whisper
when you finally release your
hands. i feel relieved.

passive aggression

2010-10-18T19:05:00.003-04:00

when you interrupt

me, dear, it makes me feel like

i'm unimportant.

now you are in the

dog house and know it, so you

kindly offered

to pick up toilet

paper and poop bags. even

Steven ? i think not.

nothing's for nothing.

2010-10-13T12:41:00.004-04:00

sometimes when you use
a cat as a heating pad
you think "TERRIFIC !

A FREE HEATING PAD !"
then you remember all the
money you have poured

into organic
kibble and sustainable
kitty litter, and

so you shake your head,
reminded that there's no such
thing as a free lunch.

lola goes for a swim

2010-09-25T14:46:00.006-04:00

then she shakes herself

she's heavy -- big for her age

and her thickness sways

in perfect phase shifts,

periodic and fluid

nose-to-tail movement.

the sun is shining

as each water droplet is

released on its

magical journey;

individually they

are tiny crystals

but together they

form a rainbow spray, soaking

foreign onlookers

tickle, tickle

2010-09-10T10:51:00.003-04:00

pickle,
sickle,
george dickel,
costs a nickel,
tickle tickle,
she's so fickle

chortle,
chuckle,
honey suckle,
brass knuckles and belt buckles,
huckleberry,
cranky cuckold,
tuck old tissues in my sleeves

an afternoon by the East River

2010-08-19T18:44:00.007-04:00

"the water's been clean
lately, surprisingly so."
he's in it, knee-deep.

i watch from a safe
distance; squinting, skeptical.
his feet plunge into

muddy sand, making
sucking sounds each time he lifts
them, breaking the seal.

a boat's wake rushes
ashore and my sissy dog
skuttles away quick.

i manage to pick my
feet up (onto my rock-seat)
just in time, thank god.

"what just floated by ?"
"hm. a condom or dead fish ?"
"don't give it much thought."

we share nervous laughs
as i brush myself off and
slip my shoes back on.

belly.

2010-08-19T10:03:00.001-04:00

no recollection
of yesterdays lunch save for
the pile of bacon.

precision vs. accuracy

2010-08-17T13:53:00.004-04:00

funny that while we
have no way of knowing when
it is precisely

12 noon (on-the-nose !)
a stopped watch will always be
correct twice a day.

cadence

2010-08-07T17:53:00.001-04:00

bjork's on NPR
talkin bout weird shit and stuff;
that fucking siren.

my friend, the florist

2010-08-07T17:35:00.003-04:00

her eyes are steel blue,
not robin's egg, baby, or
Carolina blue

but frosty and crisp,
like a gin martini
just made and resting.

she carries with her
a thick musk of verbena,
moss, and lavender,

so that long after
our talks of men, dogs, food, wine,
sex, sins & sinners

her scent clings to me,
a delayed good-bye embrace,
so tender and sweet.

sulking.

2010-08-05T11:31:00.002-04:00

when you're a teacher
the month of august feels like
sunday -- quick, dreadful.

streptococcus

2010-07-22T10:03:00.002-04:00

a barnacle grows
on my right tonsil.
it tastes of tin cans,

9 volt batteries,
or like clenching a hanger
between your teeth so

you can easily
button the buttons on a
freshly pressed men's shirt.

a great day to be at sea

2010-07-21T18:25:00.004-04:00

did you know that i
have always wanted to be
a tugboat captain ?

ahoy, dream ! i see
you in the mist ! we would guide
all the big boats through

narrow passages,
under bridges and whatnot.
i'd learn all the maps,

bearings, and knots (wait --
are there knots on a tugboat ?)
regardless, it'd be

a snap for me since
i'm a math whiz, and pretty
good with my hands, too.

it would be cold as
a witch's tit, rainy, and
way before sunrise,

but i wouldn't care, cause
i'm a tough nut and a damn
good tugboat captain.

a bird in the hand

2010-07-15T20:16:00.001-04:00

elbow deep in my
cunt, the doc asks 'why don't you
wanna get married ?'

possibly the last
words i wanted to hear save
for 'scoot down. further.'

it's the little things.

2010-06-10T17:49:00.000-04:00

mopped the floor and had
a listen to richard marx.
feeling productive.

a dirty deed.

2010-06-04T06:02:00.003-04:00

made a young girl cry
last night here at my very
own kitchen table.

the make up stained tears
creeping down her cheeks seem so
far away now, as

morning sunshine seeps
through my bedroom window and
my head gently throbs.

"ma'am, your feet are enticing me"

2010-04-27T21:00:00.001-04:00

dusk : man with jumbo
shoes rearranges items
in his shopping cart.

good news !

2010-04-26T21:13:00.002-04:00

"damn girl. that man is
a breath away from divorce."
"hm. two more shots, please ?"

oh wait, i remember.

2010-04-15T18:08:00.001-04:00

trying to wrap my
head around how exactly
my ass got so big

darren wants a drama-free relationship

2010-04-11T20:12:00.005-04:00

shot gunning it to
some fucked up under-water
out-of-space music,

gorgeous pinot, and
a zagnut. Michael Keaton
raises an eyebrow.

today it is beautiful outside

2010-04-04T17:00:00.003-04:00

mr grumpy sleeps,
nose a-whistlin, while a cat
tunnels through the tents

made by our bodies
and the duvet. cookie crumbs
gather in the crook

of my collar bone;
i lick a finger to pick
them up, and bask in

the radiance of
afternoon sun made better
by such laziness.

at 4:25 it's raining

2010-03-29T04:12:00.002-04:00

i trip out of bed
a star nosed mole, feeling the
top of his bureau

for collar stays, keys,
a money clip, or cuff links;
for if he left them

then he shall come back
to tuck me in and touch my
cheek, "shh little bird."

good morning.

2010-03-23T07:47:00.001-04:00

low hanging clouds snag
on buildings, billboards, bridges;
tug boat goes toot toot.

"... and now breathe in ."

2010-03-17T21:08:00.003-04:00

my doctor's a Good
Man. i audition thank-you's
as he draws my blood.

Codependence.

2010-03-04T09:45:00.008-05:00

"You seem sicker than
I, dear," you say. "You're stronger
than I, dear," he smiles.

"Should we nap, my dear?"
"Yes, dear, let's nap," you reply.
"Should we drug up, dear ?"

"Yes, dear, let's drug up."
"Dear, did you leave this dirty
snot-rag on the floor ?"

"Yes, dear. Sorry, dear."
"My dear ? Shall we nap some more ?"
"Brilliant idea, dear."

the magician

2010-02-22T16:47:00.005-05:00

from the hat he pulls
not a bunny but a hare
all limbs claws and teeth;

the deceiver grins
a cruel yellow grin and
celebrates his trick.

The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get

2010-02-19T20:56:00.001-05:00

my cat always says,
"if a rim job's not cuddles,
i don't know what is."

makin bacon

2010-02-06T11:38:00.003-05:00

i listen wide-eyed
as Max regales the saga
of Willie Pickton,

a pig farmer come
serial killer with a
taste for loose ladies.

not just sick. FUCKIN SICK.

2010-02-02T20:16:00.004-05:00

(or, that's why they pay me The Big Bucks)

mister silverstein
lied when he gently explained
that a toothed snail

would bite your finger
should it creep into your nose.
the truth is this, dear:

consider it broke,
your filthy finger, that is.
because i'm god damn

sick of your god damn
habit making me puke up
my god damn breakfast.

umbrella, umbrella, 5 $, 5 $.

2010-02-02T19:48:00.001-05:00

pray for your fallen
comrades, crumpled in the road;
wet, useless, garbage.

the remedy

2010-01-21T21:12:00.005-05:00

sometimes you trudge to
the train and walk a bunch of
blocks all by yourself

shuffle, really, cause
you're feeling pretty lonesome
and it's cold enough

to make your fingers
clench even though they're plunged deep
into your pockets,

then you duck through a
new door to dine with new friends
and realize that the

only thing you needed
was some kindness and maybe
a well-made Pimm's cup.

'all of the pageantry, none of the guilt'

2010-01-19T19:58:00.003-05:00

when you're gone, this place,
it's a fucking church. silent
and slightly scary.

piles of socks, folded
like hands in prayer, candles
lit in observance

of our nightly vice,
surfaces immaculate,
scoured, fit for gods.

alone, it's empty
pageantry, in need of our
choirs of laughter

ringing with blood and
wine and noise to flush some life
into this stillness.

"I love this lamp, why?"

2010-01-17T18:36:00.004-05:00

Mr. Mister sits
in silhouette beside his
most favorite lamp;

his back is turned and
I watch him lovingly
as he sips his wine.

flying solo tonight

2010-01-12T20:10:00.001-05:00

sunset accented
by a tequila sunrise
pathetic, blissful.

today this one's for Laura.

2010-01-10T16:59:00.003-05:00

today my sister

is sad. i want to cover

her tight with myself,

a warm blanket of

sister, new skin, a sort of womb,

loving and alive,

a greenhouse so that

her wild, intoxicating

flowers can grow tall.

December 31st, 2009

2009-12-31T17:01:00.002-05:00

it's snowing in the
park and small yellow patches
appear as pups play.

an uptight lezzie-
type gets up-in-arms as her
hound chews up some sticks.

'if sticks were bad for
dogs, then they'd be extinct' is
what i always say.

an old man plops down
next to me, announcing his
laundry list of health

conditions, rambling
about the importance of
D-3 and whatnot.

i keep quiet now,
watching as folks come and go
through the veil of white.

tonight in Baltimore

2009-12-18T23:36:00.002-05:00

this snow falls quiet,
accumulating on your
black poodle until

she shakes her pristine
body, tail, curls in a sine
wave under a lone

street lamp narrated
only by the low hum of
electricity

from a neighbors Christmas
lights, and the scrape of a snow
plow so far away.

in today's news

2009-11-22T14:42:00.002-05:00

two pigeons fight for
buffalo wings disturbing
nature's order, me

status update, 8:05 EST

2009-11-19T20:04:00.001-05:00

currently humbled
by crippling garlic breath
and empty wallet.

how we hug in our land.

2009-11-02T08:28:00.004-05:00

we do not cuddle

here in our bed, cause it is

too darn hot and the

covers get twisted

and we feel trapped. yet in

the quiet of the night

our hungry fingers

scuttle across boundaries

to nuzzle and knot;

clandestine meetings

unbeknownst to our bodies

still stiff with slumber.

for my cat

2009-10-20T07:33:00.006-04:00

you, cat, you! madam!
jealous of diurnal beasts
that bask in sunshine!

you! with your tiny
feet that gleefully pierce the
flesh they dance upon!

in these wee hours
as you sneak and spy and all
but steal our last breaths!

rainy day at 14 B

2009-10-03T15:47:00.002-04:00

today the cat sleeps
in loaf pose and my boyfriend
shares his candy bar

as the rain patters
in perfect mandelbrot sets
in puddles below

whoopsies.

2009-09-30T18:57:00.000-04:00

sorry momma. i
just done spent all my youth and
beauty in one place.

is heaven any sweeter than Blue Jean?

2009-09-28T17:45:00.002-04:00

new denim swallows
each leg; blue pythons making
my ass worth slapping.

party like it's 0037

2009-09-28T13:13:00.002-04:00

on this day i drank
the blood of christ before noon
and took a load off.

all wet.

2009-09-27T07:17:00.001-04:00

early morning storm
homeless man in garbage bag
taxicab asshole.

today I was a teacher.

2009-09-23T15:42:00.006-04:00

her breath is stinky,
sweet, and sour. it worms through
my nostrils, alive.

knotty flax flosses
cling to the lunch still in the
corners of her lips.

i am angry, but
suddenly granted relief,
tenderness, humor

by this funny child
with dirty, jagged nails that
beg to snag the silk

of my new blouse as
she wraps her arms around my
middle and thanks me.

around the neighborhood

2009-09-16T20:29:00.002-04:00

pigeon on ice block
ivy choking seatless bike
frothy pee puddle

1987

2009-09-14T20:38:00.003-04:00

had no idea what
virginity was, but knew
you should have mine, too.

tomato poem

2009-09-11T07:02:00.005-04:00

fingers slide within
each atrium expressing
a bounty of seeds,

gelatinous and
protected, gifts for the soil,
now ooze down the drain

the blond

2009-09-09T17:22:00.002-04:00

wincing, she weeps tears
of milk beneath my filed nails
as they dig deeper

between her tight, shiny,
tender kernels. i'm ripping
out her yellow hair,

tearing her limb from
limb. when i'm through, i place her
in a crowded bowl.

she lies naked with
her friends, waiting for a bath--
hot, cleansing, salted.

naughty boy

2009-09-08T13:51:00.002-04:00

my cat, Karate,
sits in a basket. his eyes,
flickering flashlights.

red fruit.

2009-09-08T13:46:00.004-04:00

had a plum today.
not some cheap, bull shit one from
the grocery store,

but a real, good plum.
with red bejeweled flesh
and tart, tender skin.

i sucked it til
the fruit was no more, clenching
the pit in my teeth.

at this moment.

2009-09-03T19:06:00.007-04:00

they're shreiking, screaming,

the children nextdoor; their squeals

disturb and torment.

mad captive monkeys,

nimble fingers picking locks,

ready for mayhem.

15 $

2009-08-25T16:54:00.003-04:00

'her name's Miracle'

the old woman says. she's large

and panting beneath

a bright beating sun.

Miracle traces her tiny thumb

across my thigh while

she hugs me, smiling.

I wake from my reverie,

sun-drunk and drunk-drunk

and watch as they drift

away from me, down the beach,

my money in hand.

boys and horses

2009-08-25T09:16:00.001-04:00

beautiful boys

ride beautiful horses

the sea laps the shore