aujourd'hui

today my big girl

had her first big fall; somehow

i handled it well.

these are just the facts.

you watch her tear-stained

blotchy face and look at me

like i'm some lost cause.

'big mistake,' you think.

'how could she?'  you think, and then

you excuse yourself.

and i'm left alone

with my child for a moment

while you duck away.

i want you to know

that in that moment -- when you

thought i was annoyed,

tired, and beaten,

i was loving her more than

i've ever liked you.

little lady

chubby little hands
clap with glee at my expense
-- the child tyrant reigns.

little thrills

it's the little thrills
that this bird likes.  balancing
on one leg in socks.

the split seconds of
weightlessness after she's been
tossed up from my hands.

that moment of pure,
white fear that splashes across
my face when she chokes --

how she laughs and laughs
after i've smacked her back twice,
while i'm left breathless.

that sound you make when you're happy

it's somewhere between
excited chitter chatter
and 'tick-a tick-a'.

powerful magic

the angels gave us

a baby.  a good baby,

a quiet baby.

when she sighed, we sighed,

and all was right because we 

now knew perfection.

but the goblin king

stole her, and left us with you

in the baby's stead.

a heathen, wild with

laughter and song,  breath sweeter
than opium, and

eyes the color of
nebulae, striking me down
with only a blink.

chores.

there is no beauty
in the grit that's collected
on our windows

from rain and neglect.
the sun shining through it is
just a fucking nag.