"Raw is best, but wet will do"

She's our cat guru
and pretty much the only
person I'll allow

in our apartment
unchaperoned.  She commands
an authority

regarding felines
that affords her such blind trust.
Funnily enough,

she is also one
of the few people from whom
I'll accept any

criticism, though
it is wacky and poorly
delivered.  She's one

of those 'better with
animals than people' types
which only draws me

to her more.  I find
her fascinating, and seek
out her approval,

which will never come.
"JUMP !" she says.  I say "how high ?"
"That costs you extra,"

she says. "Oh, of course,"
I say, and neatly tuck the
cash into a card

with sunbathing frogs
on it.  "You really should get
this set of teeny

tiny spoons to use
when concocting the insane
herbal remedy

you give your sick cat
per my advice."  And I say,
"no problem. I'll have

them by Saturday."
And then, "I'd be lost without
your guidance, Phyllis."

She stares through me and
says, "I don't do this for you.
I do it for him."